Karen The Bringer Of Jollity

going back to work on a monday can be a drag (no double entendre there really, i dress up in man's clothes thank you very much).

but it's always nice when the drudgery of monday is obliterated when you get to meet a friendly, cute-as-a-button, familiar face. karen came all the way from her made-out-of-a-metal-container-office in somerset to holland village for lunch.

this eurasian girl damn cute lah!

and as random as she can get, she suggested, "come we go rob seven-eleven in our sunshades can, then no one can recognise us!"

i swear she's also another mental case but i like!

What's Above Your Head?

while waiting for alex to arrive for our usual sunday tete-a-tete over tea and cake, i went trigger happy snapping away at the canopy above borders bistro's al fresco area. metal frames and sheets of glass above my head... i wonder if anyone had noticed these things are actually hanging above our heads.

Gelato Sunday

saturday night was a total bummer night at home... colin was out, and i stayed home as usual with a bottle of cabernet and watched cable at home. given the near sedentary circumstances i had put myself in, i told myself i'll go for my long brisk walk on sunday... for two scoops of gelato. yummers...


teriyaki chicken don lunch with lynda and benedict followed by gelatos. i told lynda benedict looked like a poor thing, i'd like to send him to the children's home. notice how lynda's hairstyle resembled that of a groomed shih-tzu showdog...chuckle!


few more stamps, i'll earn a scoop for free... just a few more stamps...

and the unthinkable happened.

lynda took a nap in between scoops off her gelato. one scoop...and she takes a nap, she wakes up again to have another scoop...the girl is a tad mental in some sorta way if you ask me.

Kong Hey! Kong Hey!

eeeks! I cannot believe I decided to look like a walking ang-pow when doing the bai-nian on saturday... all for the sake of collecting red packets and eat & eat & eat...

To Botanic Gardens, I'm So Ardent

retire to bed early on a friday night
for an early saturday morning walk with full of might

"are you sure about this?" myself i asked
the road is long and daunting i may not last

if dora is on her way to the garden in a cab right now
maybe i can cheat and take a bus anyhow

continue on foot i must insist
for the lure of the green path i cannot resist

four cute topless joggers i encountered along the way
onward i marched i never did sway


it was an effort not wasted i reckon
the gardens' majestic gates, unto me it beckoned


pink frangipani blooms caught on my lens
with fresh morning dew, i wish this will never end

a white columned gazebo, solitary and stark
reminded me of a scene from gosford park

wah-lau-weh...so small the bonsai plants are
maybe they have caretakers the size of oompah-loompahs

hark! lo and behold, it's treebeard the ent!
branches waving at us from a true blue majestic old gent

Karen Taught Me One...

i was inspired by karen's list of all things random.

Seven Random Facts

1. i get a kick spraying mr muscle on mildew and mould in the bathroom and watch 'em dissolve slowly
2. when i finish drinking my japanese green tea, i'd suck out the remaining juice from the tea bag believing that part is most potent and will help prevent cancer and reduce cholesterol
3. i totally believe i am an expat when i buy takeaways from da paolo gastronomia just because mainly expats patronise the deli
4. when i feel lonely at night, i hug my 1.5m bodymate pillow and pretend it's B i'm hugging
5. i gulp a shot of benedictine's d.o.m. every night before i sleep thinking my skin will glow the next morning
6. i sleep with eight pillows in bed because it acts as a formidable fortress against evil spirits that might want to pull my toes
7. on a major night out, i'd facial wash with biotherm skin polisher, pat dry, apply lancome toner, wait a while, apply lancome hydracontrole moisturiser and go out. friends will go "whoa! what the fuck what did you get that glow on your skin?". i'd always say "usual cheap facial wash lah!"

Crime Of Fashion

it is completely fine with me if you decide to turn up at an event, function, work or to any social gathering in the most horrendous outfit - like if you wear pants made out of your grandmother's floral drapes found in the 80s, or if your colour scheme or matching your outfit strikes a super negative value score.

and if you put on a super funky coolios or even a mildly pleasant outfit, well, i say good for you. thank god for people with extremely decent fashion sense.

but if you're a walking fashion mistake waiting to collide with the decent ones...

person with god-forbidden fashion mistake: eh, why your belt is like that one? the colour is ugly

person with uber dressing: *speechless*

remind me not to just sharpen my claws next time... but to fire my salvo of fashion magazine munitions to that fashion criminal's face.

disclaimer: "person with uber dressing" ain't me... it was someone else i know

The Doctor Recommends You This

lynda got me a chinese new year gift from her recent melbourne trip


yeap... it's a dildo-shaped bottle of lube... buwahaha! i likeeey! from some sex shop in melbourne called SexyLand... one day i die-die must go also.

and the label on the dildo-shaped bottle has got this uber hologram effect


long lasting and silky smooth sensation, it is doctor recommended and condom compatible... have fun, use lube please


thank you lynda... i super likeeey likeeey the bestest chinese new year gift ever! grin...

I Survived Chinese New Year Holidays... At Home

after dinner today, while waiting for my butter-sugar toast to arrive, it hit me that i actually survived the chinese new year long weekend by staying put in the village and not go out at all.

the farthest i ventured out to was, well, the village across from where i live.

colin remarked i have been hibernating too long for months now. i say it's fine with me.

as usual, i dread at the prospect of having to go back to work tomorrow. at least lynda will be back at work tomorrow, from her melbourne trip. a familiar face i can do after-work dinner with again at last.

and my butter-sugar toast arrived...yummers.

The Danique & Tess Fortunate Misadventures

it's funny how when you decide to go for a drink with a friend, you get the only smoking table available next to two complete strangers, and you end up having an all night conversation with them over topics ranging from john howard to porno, as well as a greasy-carbo-laden supper to wrap up that chanced meeting.

that was what exactly happened to porcs and me when we decided to go for a drink at harry's bar in the village after the dinner hosted by colin and roy.

danique and tess, on a holiday in singapore from brissy (aka brisbane) were right next to our table and we started talking. we covered the following topics (as far as my memory served me well):

1. drought in brissy
2. john howard the ludicrous
3. porno
4. dishwashing machines
5. laundry machines
6. cabs/taxis/public transportation
7. the singapore night safari
8. the almost naked borneo dude in the singapore night safari
9. speculations that porcs and i are lovers and/or now former lovers
10. repudiating speculations listed in article 9.
11. if a gay pride/parade must be allowed, then a straight pride/parade must be allowed too, extending to categories like "sluts", "people with 3rd nipple", etc.
12. danique & tess should open a coffee bean n tea leaves franchise in brissy
13. danique & tess should open an ala cafe del mar beach bar in brissy's beach front
14. gay man drinking pints of guinness draught (yours truly)
15. gawd... there's more but i cannot remember...mebbe you girls can list on the posting page whatever i may have missed out...grin

we had to do the touristy thingy before porcs and i dragged them both for the traditional "after-drinks-greasy-supper" at the corner coffee shop - get some shots!



then porcs and i brought danique and tess for some real greasy supper of gastronomical and artery-clogging proportion.

they had no idea what was coming their way...


chicken murtabak, fried bee hoon noodles, fried kway teow, barbecued chicken wings, iced tea with condensed milk.... *burp*


and we parted around 3am. i walked back home thinking "that was nice... i could do a foody-lonely-planet thingy for bagpackers like danique & tess".

as fate would have it, i bumped into danique & tess again at the same place the following night when i was buying supper to accompany my "stay-home-HBO-cable-night".

they had chicken murtabak stuffed up their faces again. me too.

i believe danique & tess are in the plane on their way back to brissy as i am writing this blog entry right now. safe trip back home girls! it was a pleasure meeting you girls.

cheers!

Dinner Fit For An Emperor (or Queens)

yippee! porcs came back to singapore from HK for the chinese new year holiday.

colin and roy whipped up a storm in the kitchen for us, and whoa, it was an oriental-imperial-culinary dinner (that was somewhat the title of the recipe book colin referred to) on the first day of chinese new year.

menu:
1. steamed white jasmine fragrant rice
2. imperial abalone with chinese lettuce
3. crabmeat with baby corns with sauteed garlic
4. canned jasmine green tea
5. ayurvedic tea (that's indian right?)
6. whisky green tea cocktail (that's so HK)

simple but whoa... it was magnificato!

CNY Spring Cleaning

dong dong dong qiang!
dong dong dong qiang!
dong dong qiang! dong qiang! dong qiang!
hence it was proclaimed unto the residence of colin and dean that a spring cleaning be carried out on the eve of chinese new year to usher in the year of the pig!
oink! squeal! oink!

colin was the charge d'affaires of the kitchen and me... well i claimed the bathroom & toilet as my domain.

before...


the molton browns, the biotiques, the shambhalas.... it's a major mess

i had to remove 'em all elsewhere temporarily to scrub the the tiles they have been resting on... mildew and mould...bleagh


the toilet seat cover can barely fit those damn toiletries

got a better picture of what i mean?


and the result of a painstaking anal retentive work of arranging 'em all in grids and rows...


and the larger picture...


these brands ought to pay me for my blatant product placements actually...

lichelle, if you are reading this, can you recognise the ayurvedic biotique stuffs from the taj hotel mumbai? grin...

and a fresh new floral arrangement as centrepiece to usher in the new year... it was colin's brilliant and ingenius arrangement


bathroom squeaky clean, kitchen absolutely grime-free, living room fluffed up... we're ready for the new year.

but i left my bedroom in a state of mess... i was all too pooped out to do anything about it


in the evening, colin and i walked down to the corner coffee shop in the village and we had a pretty quiet reunion dinner. and then we called it an early night. snore...

kong hey fatt choy

xin nian kuai le

Two Utterly Bored Singles On CNY's Eve

kwun ho and i decided to do 'expat' thingy in holland village on the eve of CNY, just because we're both bored single people who decided to screw the ideals of getting a date to fill our chinese new year weekend holiday.

coffee at starfucks or coffee bean was decisively viewed as juvenile, so having takeaway gourmet coffee at da paolo gastronomia seemed to be the right thing to do on a saturday.


do you want pizza to go with your coffee? yeah but no but yeah but no but yeah but no but yeah...


i dunno about coffee but downing a bottle of pinot noir seemed like a better idea at that time


no i am not drunk... i swear!


as evident, i had soda (sugarless nonetheless) & kwun ho was basking in his caffeine delight while he surreptitiously eavesdropped on a bunch of aunties gossiping behind him

and then off to cold storage for grocery shopping...


damn it... they're only leaves and they're frigging expensive?


i went ga-ga over these juicy schmuicy mangoes!


a chinese new year must-have! olengs!!! (dat's "oranges" in singlish-spelling)


and smaller teeny-weeny olengs! so cute i can die! kawaii des!


must buy some pigs to usher in the year of the pig... although it's all dead and shaved and sliced pig's meat...porker!


me-so-pretty... uhmmm, i'm not that sure about drinking tea that will make me errr... jaded?


my answer to a much needed daily orgasm...meiji's yogurt...and the strawberry flavour rocks! with real whole baby strawberries dunked inside it...yummers!

Dreamgirls Incarnate

hossan, colin and me... dunno what got into us but we lip-synched to an hour's worth of tracks from The Supremes after work last friday at home.
unbridled campiness was sheer happiness. chuckle.


hossan, phat-face 'jennifer hudson' me in the middle and colin. thanks for the silly random de-stresser moment guys. that was all i ever needed after a rough week.

And Murtha Is Back In The News!

this should be interesting:


Murtha moves to forefront of Iraq debate
By ANNE FLAHERTY, Associated Press Writer, February 16, 2007

pavithra has a budget simulation blog-type playing the role of john murtha:
http://thegoldmanledger.blogspot.com/

pavi gurl! updates please! (at least for people like me who keeps his nose sniffing around in the business of Eye-Rack)

My Tit Got Frost Bitten And It Fell Off

As reported by Associated Press:

Moscow official nixes gay rights parade Wed Feb 14, 3:41 PM ET

MOSCOW - A top Moscow official repeated Wednesday that the city will not allow a gay rights parade, echoing the mayor's vocal criticism and saying that homosexuality is bad for your health, the RIA-Novosti news agency reported.

"There is the hard line of the city authorities and the position of our main faith, the Russian Orthodox Church ... of the inadmissibility of such an event in Moscow," RIA-Novosti quoted the head of the city's international relations department, Georgy Muradov, as saying.

Mayor Yuri Luzhkov and city authorities barred gay rights activists from staging a parade last year, citing the threat of violence, but activists ignored the ban and were attacked by right-wing protesters and detained by police. Last month, Luzhkov vowed never to allow a gay rights parade, calling such events "satanic."

Russian gay activists pledged to hold a march in May.

London Mayor Ken Livingstone said last month that he strongly opposed a ban, and RIA-Novosti quoted Muradov as saying Luzhkov expects to face criticism over the issue at a Feb. 27-28 meeting with the mayors of London, Paris and Berlin.

In an attack on what he said was criticism from the Swedish ambassador, Muradov equated homosexuality with alcoholism and drew a comparison meant to suggest the ban was aimed to protect the heath and well-being of society.

"As you know, the sale of alcohol is restricted in many Scandinavian countries. Why not pose the question of removing the limits on alcohol in these countries, of holding a 'parade of alcoholics' in Sweden? They would answer: no, it's bad for one's health, it affects society's morals," RIA-Novosti quoted him as saying.

Muradov said he had "medical proof" that "this form of relations" is harmful to health, the agency reported.

of course lah it's hazardous to your health... all these dumbos...can you imagine holding a gay parade in subzero temperature in Kremlin...in your thin lycra and spandex and leotards, and mini skirts, plunging neckline, bareback tops (no double entendre there really)... "ooops, i think i've a frost bite on my right nipple there...dang, it had just fallen off!"